Amen, Hansel!
About time too. The buy-sell shtick is not so bad, really. I've bought 2 houses, sold 1 at a small loss and the second one I'm still in. And it's still appreciating.
On the sell side: The key is not to try to save yourself the realtor fee unless you already have a buyer in hand. If you have one, great, that's money in your pocket. If you don't know someone who wants to buy your place, call an agency and suck it up. Much as I love you, you don't seem have the right stuff to be a do it yourself seller (I don't think. But I could be wrong in which event check out the "Sale By Owner" websites that set you up with all the stuff you could need). Realtors are wonderful (or they can be.) They'll an appraisal fer free if they are going to do the selling! (Yippee). Just finish the damn kitchen with the cheapest stuff you can find before calling. They'll tell you how to gussy it up for walk-throughs which they hold without you being there. In a tough market (if it is, in the 'Ham) they'll find buyers you might not. They do the paperwork, sit with you at the closing, and organize the whole damn thing. It's very little work on your part and therefore worth what you pay them.
On the buy side: have one of your sibs recommend a mortgage broker or just call 3 banks and see what the rates and deals are. You already own a place and you haven't been foreclosed on and both of those facts should mean you are a relatively good risk, even in this crazy market.
On the market: it's hard to say. By definition, recessions are only spotted after they happened (or have begun happening). The cycle is in some sense predictable: Armageddon hits, more bad news leaks out, and then the press is all doom and gloom. The people who really get rich are the ones who buy when the doom and gloom sets in. The trick is, as TQM notes, finding that bottom or having the wherewithal to ride down to it, and then acquire more.
I'll take your money and invest in SPDRs, and some Asian index fund and one "name" mixed bond and equity fund. But that would cost you, and this you actually can do yourself. Smooch.