by John Hunt - November 14, 2007

After a surprise second-place finish in a South Carolina straw poll, Mike Huckabee's star appears to be on the rise. He has captured favorable attention from pundits, reporters, comedians, and even Chuck Norris. At least as far as the media is concerned, Huckabee has moved from the ranks of the Tancredos and Hunters and into consideration as a viable presidential candidate. It is stunning.

Stunning, at least, to this observer from Huckabee’s home state. Huckabee’s tenure as governor of Arkansas didn’t exactly lend itself to the idea that he was presidential material. Huckabee spent his ten years in office appearing on the Don Imus show, dodging inquiries from the State Ethics Commission, duck hunting, and gathering up gifts from supporters. The idea that he might one day become the most powerful man in the world was laughable. Nobody would be fooled by this guy.

I’ve tried to do my part, posting diatribe after diatribe on my blog, all apparently to no avail. Perhaps I’ve diluted my venom over too many posts. Here, in an easy-to-read format, is an annotated list of the top ten reasons why you just can’t vote for Mike Huckabee for President of the United States of America:

10. He has an awful family. If you thought Billy Carter and Roger Clinton were embarrassing, wait until you get a load (word chosen advisedly) of David Huckabee. Mike Huckabee’s son first stepped into the limelight when he was fired from a Boy Scout camp for allegedly torturing a dog to death. While a student at Arkansas State University, David Huckabee was president of the Student Activities Board, and figured out a way to get the university to pay him $5,000 to “provide services.” This year he tried to board an airplane at the Little Rock airport while carrying a “forgotten” handgun. Huckabee’s wife Janet is no Dolly Madison; she’s often referred to in Arkansas as “Jethrine.” She was constantly in the news during Huckabee’s tenure. Active politically (she ran unsuccessfully for Arkansas Secretary of State), she once got in trouble for intimdating voters while volunteering at a polling place during an election in Little Rock. She apparently isn’t too impressed with her own son John Mark, comparing him to a radio station that “you don’t quite get.” In a move that seems to be plucked from the plot of a bad sitcom, Mrs. Huckabee went to work as the marketing director for an aluminum siding company while her husband was governor. Imagine this family in the White House, and imagine pining for Neil Bush and Donald Nixon.

9. He’s petty. Huckabee was constantly under scrutiny by the Arkansas press for questionable ethics during his term as governor. He was vindictive and hateful to the reporters who covered him accusing them of making up stories, and refusing to send routine press releases to those who printed or broadcast unfavorable reports.

8. He’s unqualified. Huckabee holds a degree in theology from Ouachita Baptist University, and attended Southwest Baptist Theological Seminary. He spent ten years as governor of Arkansas, during which time his greatest achievement was to lose 100 pounds. He had a reputation among legislators as being difficult to work with. He has disowned the few decent accomplishments of his administration, since they involved small tax increases. In other words, he has done nothing to recommend him as Chief Executive of the most powerful country in the world.

7. He doesn’t believe in science. Huckabee doesn’t believe in evolution. He famously raised his hand during a Republican presidential debate when candidates were asked which ones disbelieved in Darwin’s theory. He doesn’t believe in global warming. In fact, he says he’ll always choose his religious beliefs over science. He’s quoted in Salon: “Oh, I believe in science. I certainly do. In fact, what I believe in is, I believe in God. I don't think there's a conflict between the two. But if there's going to be a conflict, science changes with every generation and with new discoveries and God doesn't. So I'll stick with God if the two are in conflict." If that quote doesn’t scare you, then your voting privileges need to be revoked. Is this the guy you want deciding policy on public health, or stem cell research, or weapons research, or the space program?

6. He’s in favor of the war. He thinks the Iraq War is World War III, and wouldn’t rule out using nukes on Iran. ‘Nuff said.

5. He has no respect for the law. He flaunted the state’s Ethics Commission several times when they tried to slap him on the wrists for major infractions of election funding. He ignored the Freedom of Information Act on numerous occasions. On leaving office, he had the hard drives from the computers from his office destroyed. Here’s a random little blast from the past—a bit from the “10 Years Ago” feature in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette: “Gov. Mike Huckabee insisted that complaints made through a taxpayer-funded hotline aren’t subject to public disclosure despite an attorney general’s opinion that they are.” In other words, the law is whatever he says it is.

4. He’s a crook. Huckabee used the Arkansas State Police airplane as his personal jet and as campaign transport. He accepted thousands of dollars worth of gifts from supporters and hangers-on. He charged personal items to official accounts (google “Huckabee” and “Velveeta” and see what you get). When he left the governor’s mansion, he tried to take some of the furniture with him.

3. He’s a loose cannon. His term as governor was one embarrassment after another. He referred to Arkansas as a banana republic on the Don Imus show. He moved from the governor’s mansion to a triple-wide mobile home while the mansion was being renovated (he claimed it was to save money—it wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that the trailers were donated by political supporters). He referred to environmentalists as “wackos.” He re-married his wife in a Moonie-style mass covenant marriage. He’s a veritable font of offensive one-liners and off-color jokes. Just the guy to restore dignity of the United States.

2. He’s another Dubya. Huckabee is a so-called “compassionate conservative,” with an anti-gay, anti-choice, theocratic agenda. Like Bush, Huckabee was an undistinguished governor of a southern state who made his name by executing criminals (three in one day) and fighting with the legislature. Like Bush, Huckabee is a religious nut who believes that Armageddon is at hand, and that he might be just the guy to speed it up. Since he has no cadre of associates from Arkansas, if he somehow gets into office, he’s liable to fall right in with the same bunch of half-wit incompetents that are running the country now.

1. He’s a liar. Of course, all politicians tend to bend the truth, but Huckabee seems to be pathological. In the most recent exposure, Huckabee claimed that he only raised taxes while governor because the court ordered it. Unfortunately for him, his speech to the legislature asking for new taxes was video-taped. Huckabee has stated that most of the founding fathers were clergymen, and that many of the current presidential candidates were atheists. His “Willie Horton” incident is his release from prison of convicted rapist Wayne Dumond, who subsequently raped and murdered a woman in Missouri. Huckabee has repeatedly lied about his role in Dumond’s case, even claiming that Bill Clinton was responsible for the release.

These are ten good reasons to vote for anyone besides Mike Huckabee, but there are countless others. He seems to think that cutting out sweets for children is a substitute for health-care reform. He keeps blathering on about replacing the income tax with a regressive, unworkable flat tax. Huckabee is an incompetent, glad-handing boob. You know, we’ve had enough of that.

John Hunt is a biologist who teaches in rural Arkansas.  He blogs at Notes From A Transitional Fossil.

From Digg.com

Classy Sassy responds:

Well, well, well. Aren't you all a bunch of pissy little girls sittin' around trying to see just who can come up with ways to lie about Mike Huckabee.10 reasons, my foot. You can't come up with one REAL REASON. All are a bunch of twisted half truths, turned inside out and out side in! The video is a real good sound bite taken out of context. And the Dumond case is such old news, you can find out the real truth at www.explorehuckabee.com And if you know ANYTHING about Arkansas politics you will know how hard it is for a Republican to come in and try to change things when there have been Democrats in office since Reconstruction! But not only did Mike work well with them, he was RE-ELECTED!! Mike served over 13 1/2 years in Arkansas. As Lt. Governor and Governor. He even battled the Clinton Machine-his opponents were backed by the Clinton's. But he beat them out 3 times. He can and will do it again!
I can't believe you would "swoop" so low, like the buzzard you are that has to pick the bones clean, to bring the family into this. Mike does not fight this way and I guess, if you have nothing to use, you try family. LOW BLOW!! Things said about David is ludicrous! Nothing can be stated as the truth on him. He did have a gun, was not arrested,well, hell, we all have guns here. As much as they travel it was an over site.At least he was paying his own way on commercial air lines! Not using state money for any travel like the Clinton's do and did! And everybody knew it! YOU just had to twist it all around. David's childhood is not like you say! Go check it out for yourself, I did and it's not worth taking up space over! But trying to make Janet look bad, is, well, uncalled for. She is one of the nicest,most compassionate, intelligent woman you will ever meet. She loves and adores her children. She knows they are her miracles of life. Everything you said about her is tacky and shows just how undermined you can get. YOU are one of the more harden damnoRATS we have heard about!
The paper coverage is just one more sloppy reporting jobs you are doing. Someone gets their feelings hurt and go crying to their Da Da that they don't get the good news like the others do, boo hoo! Get Real...you count this as a reason not to vote for Mike, is this for real??? You are a joke! "Petty, under scrutiny, questionable ethics, vindictive,hateful~~~Are you sure you have your facts right and are not talking about HILLARY CLINTON on a good day??!!
You say Mike is unqualified. I don't know who you think you are comparing him to, but he is more QUALIFIED than anyone running. And you say he had a reputation of being difficult? And just who is calling him that? The Legislators?? WHO ARE WHAT??? DAMNORATS!! Mike has more leadership qualities in his big toe that all the others put together!
NOW, if you want to believe you came from monkeys, and I think maybe you do, go on~ Mike won't be mad at you, you can believe any way YOU want. Mike just happens to believe in God and and that God created. It's that simple. Not enough to argue about and surely not something to keep him from making a wonderful President! Rather have one that believes in God than one that doesn't! And if that scares you, maybe you should have your head examined! And YES this is the man we NEED to make very important decisions. Mike does NOT FAVOR WAR!! How many times do you have to hear him on this??? ARE your ears plugged with peanut butter? Go and re read or listen if you can to his speech on the war!
And about the computers, all hard drives are taken out now days. It is like their notes and books.They are not for the public, and it was not a law,it was the attorney general's OPINION .All offices are like this.Man, do you know just what all the Clinton's took-Concealed (and are still concealing)AND HAD TO BRING BACK. And if truth be known they still have many a dollars worth of White House "trinkets"
Did you know that it is the job of the Arkansas State Police to protect the Governor? And he can use the jet when it is needed. And that the Other candidates are using tax payers money to campaign RIGHT NOW!! But MIKE HUCKABEE IS NOT!! NOW OR EVER WAS!! Mike and Janet had things of their own in the Governors Mansion over the years. They did not take anything that did not belong to them. Why would they and make it easy for people like you to talk about. This makes you have to lie or twist the truth. And what is wrong with living in a mobile home while the State Governor's Mansion is being remodeled? It was in very poor shape. The Clinton's really did a number on it with the cats! And the home was not paid for out of taxpayers pockets. The home was later donated. What's the beef here? You call this an embarrassment? You wanna look at that again? And what is the deal about saying your wedding vows again? What? mass covenant? Man, you really do need to get a hobby or something and let some of this go.Don't you think some of us have a right to do things like this. It show what he thinks about marriage, his commitment to his wife and family. What you gonna say about Mitt? His wacko religion? It got more curves that an snake. Now you wanna get into some mud slingin' you can go there!! And I don't know of anyone that could say Mike tells dirty jokes! YOU are just damn mean spirited! for my liking!! YOU must be a baby killing, homosexual loving, lily livered liberal!
And I know you won't print this because it shoots down every thing you said nasty about Mike Huckabee. Mike is a compassionate conservative but he is not mad at any body about it. Like you are. You are a half witted nit wit incompetent that is just trying to cause trouble. You better try again because you didn't do anything but make yourself look stupid! And that's what I have to say about it!!

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