by topazz
It’s Thanksgiving time, a very big deal where I live – as we’re only a few miles away from Jaindl Turkey Headquarters in Orefield, Pennsylvania. In case you didn’t know, Jaindl has long been considered the Cadillac of turkeys (maybe that should be a Lexus now) and the Jaindl family built an empire off(ing) the tiny heads of these idiotic looking birds. But as both of my teenage sons have a close friendship with one of the Jaindl grandsons and heir to the turkey throne, and since childhood they have enjoyed all the benefits that come with near occasion to untold wealth, I shan’t say anything further about the Jaindl family. Not that there was anything to say to begin with of course - just that it’s always nice to know really really rich people.
But I digress. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday – it has much of the same magic as Christmas but without all the unmet expectations or the expense. Thanksgiving is – or should be – about getting together around the table with family and loved ones and celebrating. Celebrating what, you may ask? Celebrating life, I may answer. And don’t give me any backtalk; everyone has at least one thing they can celebrate, for god’s sake.
As for me, I put on my Thanksgiving dress, blast the parade from the television and make my mother’s famous-if-only-within-our-own-family stuffing recipe, since apparently I’m the only one in my clan who does it right because I get elected to make it every year. My family is a large one, so we alternate hosting duties of Thanksgiving dinner, and this is one of those years where it is not my turn, thanks be to God. However, my children still covet the spoils of hosting; (i.e. lots of delicious leftovers in the house for the long weekend) so I cook a turkey every year regardless. Ah, the aroma alone is enough to send you into heaven, and here’s a little hint: if you’re truly serious about having your turkey turn out juicy and tender, you will ignore the gasps and disgusting comments of your friends and invest in the turkey cannon. You’ll have the last laugh my friend, when the subsequent drippings give way to a rich and savory gravy that is to die for.
After the parade has gone by, quell the inevitable letdown by mixing up a holiday cocktail, if only to sip on in between all that endless basting. Although martini purists out there will undoubtedly disagree, my recommendation is the delicious key-lime martini. Of course, in lieu of martinis, there’s always Valium. At any rate you’re going to need something before you face all those God-awful relatives again, Suzy!
And last but not least, turn up the volume on your monitors, folks, as I leave you to listen to this delightful little tune that will surely put you in the mood for all the holiday festivities coming up this week.
Happy Thanksgiving!
topazz scans the internet for interesting and amusing tidbits so you don't have to. She also blogs at topazz (with a zz).